I am seeking forgiveness.
My mother led a life that would be considered a much more traditional experience for a woman. My wife leads a much more modern mother’s life, holding down 40 hours and raising children. Both women have been instrumental in forming my worldview of the opposite sex. Because of that I haven’t had to entertain thoughts of women being lesser than men, much past the cooties stage of life.
I acknowledge our differences, but I’ve never thought one or the other is more capable. I couldn’t imagine going through life or raising my children to believe that they are allowed to judge someone’s value based on their gender. I respected my mother and admired her strength and her ability to teach me to be empathetic to the needs of the world around me. I also respect my wife for expecting me to be equally as involved in our kid’s lives as she is. At the same time teaching me to feel safe when doing the things others may deem a “motherly duty.”
Nothing frustrates me, in such a specific way, as men who write women off based solely on them being female. Or men who think it’s okay to keep their children at arm’s length when it comes to caring for them physically or emotionally. All family dynamics are unique, and they should be, but if you think you are owed something because of the gender-lottery you’re ultimately an outcome of, you need to seriously consider doing some soul-searching.
Think of what we could accomplish as a society if we could simply move past the patriarchal lie we’ve succumb to for generations. It is not hard to point out the hypocritical attitudes of those who smugly stand by their uncomfortably bloated viewpoints, but change starts with the ones who can identify it and pivot.